Pretty Serious Stuff

2 September 2005
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“You should think of the greater sufferings of others so you can endure your own small troubles easier. And if they do not seem small to you, then be careful that your impatience is not the reason they seem greater.” – Thomas a Kempis
 
There are a few people at our church in the middle of some semi-heated, emotionally charged theological discussions right now that are pretty serious. I know it shouldn’t be possible, but some strong Christian people that I know are coming close to hating each other. There is a lot at stake for these few…people are tempted to leave and go to another church unless someone else does, or at least changes, to satisfy their own perspectives on church doctrine or their own convictions about how to present it. It’s tricky and messy, because we are talking about people’s convictions here. And they all believe that people’s souls hang in the balance based on “who win’s”. I, as the preacher here, am admittedly consumed by it…wondering how to be like Jesus in the midst of it. It’s pretty serious stuff…
 
Until, that is, I hear about the man on the TV telling his story of struggling to hold on to his wife during the Hurricane in Louisiana as his house ripped in half. He said that his wife saw his inability to hang on without losing his hold on the house, so she said, “Let me go. You take care of our children and grandchildren. I’ll be alright.” That’s the last he’s seen of her. It sort of redefines what pretty serious stuff really is…
 
Until, that is, I hear about a man in Kenya who was quoted as saying, “Today, the United States is dealing with what much of the world deals with every day.” I had to stop and think about that one. And a good friend of mine, as he spoke about it, made me realize that this dude in Kenya is wrong. Because in the United States we have boats going in there searching for people, helicopters lifting them out, relief food and water being collected to send down there, rebuilding plans and funds in the works…and all of this is happening without my having to sacrifice one necessity of life. In much of the rest of the world, the people are just left to die with no one even noticing (that’s why we haven’t heard about it). I sort of redefines what pretty serious stuff really is…
 
And I bet there is more. Back here on planet Amarillo…I can just shut off my TV, and stop talking to my friends on the phone who know better, and pretend that the problems around here are pretty serious.
 
Wow. That my fellow Christians believe that it’s okay to not act like Christ with each other because they think the other one doesn’t quite “get it” is pretty humiliating. Equally humiliating is that I’m talking about me.

The Question in Question

20 August 2005
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“A truth’s initial commotion is directly proportional to how deeply the lie was believed.” — Dresden James
 
“In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” — George Orwell
 
“If a liar and deceiver comes and says, ‘I will prophesy for you plenty of wine and beer,’ he would be just the prophet for this people!” — The prophet Micah, to a group who only wanted a truth that was reflective of their own wills

The sentence that came out of her mouth had the appearance of a question, but it wasn’t really. It was a proclamation. In her mind, it was more of an informing. The “question” in question was, “Daddy, can I do the slip and slide?”
 
To my 3-year-old, this kind of question isn’t really a question. Her tone and demeanor betrayed the fact that in reality this was a warning. “Give me the right answer, dad, and you will get my joy-filled approval, gratitude, excitement, kisses and support! But give me something else, buddy, and prepare for my ritual pouting, accusations, fit-throwing, cursings, and just over-all, general uncooperativeness.”
 
Sure enough, when I answered with, “Yes, sweety, but we are going to wait a little bit to do that,” she instantly put her upper lip out and her head down in utter disapproval…usually the first event in a series that show her displeasure and serves as her effort to get things the way she wants. 
 
You see, in her 3-yr-old mind, there was only one right answer. And that would be, by the way, the answer that she wanted and was sincerely convinced she was right about.
 
I have met 70-year-olds who have not outgrown this 3-year-old mentality…and the only “growth” they’ve had concerning it is that they have learned to manipulate and twist words and meanings in order to sound right to themselves. I, too, find myself adhering to this. “Tell me what I want to hear, what is agreeable to my ears and my already determined beliefs, and I will reward you with my joy-filled approval, gratitude, excitement, kisses and support. But tell me something else, and prepare for my ritual pouting, accusations, fit-throwing, cursings and just over-all, general uncooperativeness.”
 
Oh, for the capacity to see through ourselves in this! The truth is that we are sinners and subject to and entangled in deep emotions. We are easily disturbed, easily confused, easily offended, easily overcome, and easily destroyed. And so we appeal to puny, childish games that shortcut real growth, raw and real relationships, and spiritual progress. And if someone dares look for, find, and speak the objective truth, even with perfect love, the rest of us punish him with these assaults to try to get him to stop and fall in line. God help us ask the right questions, rise above ourselves, and see with Your eyes.
 
Look in the mirror for 10 minutes at your own face, asking yourself this question, to see if you are inadvertently behaving as my 3-year-old: “Is there anything on earth that offends me so much that I stop loving someone?”
 
You are stuck with your answer, if you have the courage to ask it and meditate on it. That’s why many of us will not ask it. Not asking is one of our best strategies to protect ourselves.
 
For those of us who take a knee to the Christ, we are not being faithful and obedient to our religion when we merely survive an offense and keep on going (often called, inappropriately, the virtue of perseverance). We are only being faithful and obedient when our dedicated love for the offender is not compromised in the least when they offend us (true perseverance).
 
Religion, for decades, has taught that you need to be right in order to go to Heaven. This half-truth, accepted as the whole truth, has made such a mess of us.
 
God help us. We have a higher commitment to believing we are right than we do to actually being right…and we can’t tell the difference between the two.
 
 

The Not-Often-Thought-Of Need for Work

18 August 2005
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“I need rest.” – The usually silent, but screaming, unspoken words of most people I know
 
“I need work.” – The usually spoken, excited, motivated words of deeply rested people
 
The deeply rested people that I know are not the people who have just returned from a vacation. The deeply rested people that I know are the ones that live life constantly “rising up above themselves” and escape the trappings of their own making. It is these people that seem to love work in a way that I desire to love work.
 
Oh, tons of people I know love work. Just not the way I want to love work.
 
The ones that love work because they find their identity in it…have an identity that is too small.
The ones that love work because they have a “spot” on the planet that they can feel some sense of control…have an illusion that bears no lasting satisfaction.
The ones that love work because it is their hiding place from family relationships, Godly relationships, or just relationships…have a lonely existence.
The ones that love work because it’s giving them money to do something they want to do that is other than their work…are wasting time doing something other than what they want to do, thinking it’s the only way to do it.
 
While I have a little bit in common with all of the above people in regards to my “work”, I would not put any of those reasons on my list of “why I love work.”
 
I love work because I need it. I was made for it. Created for it. Incomplete without it. Lost without it.
 
The work I speak of does not stop when your “regular duties” are altered for a time due to a Sabbatical, a vacation, a resignation, a firing, or a job change.
 
Work, to me, is synonymous with life.
Work is synonymous with love.
Work is synonymous with truth.
It’s synonymous with family.
It’s synonymous with relationships.
 
Work, for each of us, is the only thing we are alive to do, when we understand what real work is. Jesus said that “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
 
A loaded statement, to say the least. And I don’t think being a preacher means that I’m just one of the “lucky ones” who gets to be paid to do the work of God. This may sound strange for many, but I don’t even think of myself as a “full-time minister”…never have. Maybe I just like imagining this, but I’m just striving to be a normal, God-directed, listening human being who believes that there is always a call on my life to do something for a Caller out there, and in my listening and responsiveness, it just happens to mean I’m in a pulpit right now, preaching about Jesus to a group of people I love in Amarillo, TX.
 
You were created for the work of God. I don’t care who you are, I know that whatever your doing, your full time work is to believe in Jesus. To believe what he said, and live your life based on it. And, from personal experience I’ll tell you, when I’m doing that work it changes my life daily.
 
And I need it to feel alive.

 
 

Silence and Solitude

15 August 2005
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“When I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased.” – King David
 
I am in the heart of my first, 3-week-long Sabbatical (rest) from the regular duties of my preaching position at the Southwest church. I call it the heart, not because I’m smack dab in the middle of it (which I am), but because I am on the last of a 3-day-long retreat of silence and solitude. I have not seen nor spoken to another human being for 2 days now, and will spend one more night here and then reunite with my family and my world tomorrow. If you asked me right now about it, I’d tell you that I wish it were longer. But the pause I’m now taking to write this email suggests to me that I am longing for human contact more than I might admit.
 
I had elevated this 3 days “with God” as the pinnacle of this “productive rest”, everything I’ve done previously building up to it, everything that I will do starting tomorrow coming out of it.
 
My friend Andy, on the Sunday of this Sabbatical’s beginning, wishing me well articulated my hearts desire for this time (something like) these words: “We all wish, and probably should, do what you are about to do, but either don’t or won’t. As you do it, do it for all of us.” 
 
While standing under the shade of a tree, listening to the deafening silence, asking God to break it with His voice…I was compelled to open my Bible to a random Psalm, which ended up being the 39th one. The comment of David above comes from there, and probably best describes my time here.
 
I have immersed myself these last two days in the Gospels of John and Luke, the teachings of historians Thomas Cahill and Ray Vander Laan concerning the times and peoples surrounding Jesus’ appearing, and the memoirs of George Muller (who’s courageous and literal dependence on prayer is what my heart both longs for and is unwilling to try). When I have been sleepy, I have slept. When I have been hungry, I have eaten. I have gotten to see some cool wildlife in action (it doesn’t take much of this to impress me), was interrupted by an awesome lightening storm that I watched travel from the distance and pass right over me (admittedly scary, but awesome to stand with in).
 
A I have paused many times in order to, unsuccessfully, be still and know that God is God.
 
Each time, my anguish increased. I felt I must do something. Read something. Study something. Serve someone. Be interruptible. Plan a sermon series. Go to the bathroom. Listen to a tape.
 
So, what I have learned? Many things.
 
1. I need to take extended time with God much more than I do now.
2. My prayer life stinks. Extended time with God is only beneficial for those who know how to be with God.
3. God wants me to be dependant on Him day by day for things like sermons, and more dedicated time spent on them will not earn me a better sermon (no, I’m NOT saying I don’t need to study…he who has an ear, let him hear).
4. Having people in need around me to serve is a gift from God, so that I can do here on earth what is done in Heaven.
5. That earthly luxury and security gets in the way of knowing what it is to have God’s luxury and security.
 
I am going to go out again and be still and know that Yahweh is God. I’ve mastered the “be active and know that Yahweh is God” thing, and I’ve flirted with the “be still” thing, but I’ve got a long way to go. King David continued in that Psalm to say “My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned, then I spoke with my tongue.” That may be what just happened to me with this email, although in an atypical tamed sort of way for me.
 
David went on to ask God to show Him exactly when he was going to die so that he could understand how puny his life really is in the big scheme of things. How fleeting his efforts on earth are considering the hugeness of God and His efforts.
 
That’s what I need before I go home, too. It just occurred to me that I have not yet cried while being here alone. That is not like me, and it is a sure sign that I am not connected to the overwhelming heart of God. I go out into my lonely “wilderness” one last time tonight, looking not for tears, but for the God that I always find when they come. As in David’s last words in this Psalm:
 
“Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were. Look away from me, that I may rejoice again before I depart and am no more.”
 

The Day That is Coming…But Not Yet

31 July 2005
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“You remind me of the Apostle Paul.” — said to me by my friend, Ben Wall, years ago, as we did ministry together
 
I have long felt a kinship with Paul of the Bible. I think that anyone who has seriously committed his life and soul to advancing Christ’s Kingdom can find a version of his own story in Paul’s story, but I still like to think that he and I have a special affinity. And while I like to imagine having a powerful, global impact like he, that’s not what I’m talking about.
 
Remember when Paul (he went by Saul then) used all his zeal and passion to defend “God’s religion” from moving into error by Christians?  I used to do that. Remember when Paul was then interrupted by Jesus and was told to stop what he was doing because he, in fact, was working against God and didn’t know it? I feel like that happened to me. Remember how Paul sat in Damascus, dazed and confused and blinded, waiting for Jesus to tell him what to do? I experienced that.
 
And remember when Jesus promised and then commissioned Paul personally, “I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.” I so totally feel like I have had this experience.
 
I feel sent, like Paul, to the “gentiles” of our day. No, not “non-Jews”, for I am one of them, and indebted to Paul for initiating such a powerful ministry to us. The gentiles of our day, at least in America, are the “non-churched”. I don’t really like that word, but haven’t found one I like, and so will trust you know what I mean.
 
And you know how Paul went first to the Jews in each city he visited to see who would accept the Messiah so that he knew who he could count on in that city to be a church fellowship for these hard to accept gentiles? I feel like I’m supposed to do that, too. The way Paul and his buddy Barny explained themselves to the Jews was, “We had to speak the word of God to you first.” (Acts 13:46) And I honestly feel like, too. As a matter of fact, that is a PERFECT description of the season of Paul’s life that I am in right now, right here in Amarillo. The “Jews” in my life (per this analogy) are my friends at the Southwest Church of Christ. Probably the best statement from Paul’s life, that reflects this current priority of mine, is a comment by Luke when he said, “Paul devoted himself exclusively to preaching, testifying to the Jews that Jesus was the Christ.” (Acts 18:5)
 
Up ahead, however, a dramatic decision awaits me. (I am fortunate that I have many brothers and friends and intimate allies that surround me. And I don’t know about Paul, but I need them. They remind me of what matters most when I’m weary. At the first sign of possible discouragement or distraction, they notice and firmly keep my eyes on the Goal.) And sometimes I put my head down to the ground and watch my feet take one step at a time and forget, but God oftentimes forces my head up to look ahead…and when He does, excitement and passion and conviction (and emails like this one) just pop out of me.
 
Before too terribly long, the day is coming that I will turn resolutely to the “Gentiles” and take the Word of God to them. It will be great because I know there are folks out there who are just waiting to hear about this life-giving message from me, and are ready to embrace it with both arms by letting go of everything else…and that many of my “Jewish” brothers will go out there with me. But it will also be sad because it will mark an end of the current season of life for me, the one where I get to preach Christ to “my own people” first, inviting them from the religious life we were brought up with to the abundant life of a singular focus on Christ’s mission.
 
The way Paul said it, when it came upon him, was…“We had to speak the word of God to you first. Since you reject it and do not consider yourselves worthy of eternal life, we now turn to the Gentiles. For this is what the Lord has commanded us.” (Acts 13:47)
The way Luke continued his commentary about this was…“Paul devoted himself exclusively to preaching, testifying to the Jews that Jesus was the Christ. But when the Jews opposed Paul and became abusive, he shook out his clothes in protest and said to them, “Your blood be on your own heads! I am clear of my responsibility. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.” (Acts 18:5-6)

 
I am currently preaching to the Southwest Church of Christ, explaining and declaring to them the kingdom of God and trying to convince them about Jesus from the law of Moses and from the Prophets and from the Gospels and from the Letters (see Paul’s version of this in Acts 28:23-25). And it is awesome. I have joined many among these people who have been doing this for years before I got here, most notably the elders and ministers that I get to work with, and there are dozens more.
 
So for now, I am full of joy as I pursue this season of life and calling, patiently watching to see who else has already and will continue to join us in discovering the “more and more” available to us in Christ. But I also enjoy lifting my head, looking forward, and seeing that the time is coming (the day and hour I don’t know) that my heart’s desire to see new life flow into the hearts of those outside our Southwest walls, because of the people inside of our walls. It will be a time in my life where I feel I will have been faithful to God’s commission to me…to go to “the Gentiles” and share with them our lives and this great news.
 
Then, I hope and pray, what happened in Paul’s life will happen in mine…“When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the Lord; and all who were appointed for eternal life believed. The word of the Lord spread through the whole region.” (Acts 13:48-50)

My Great Trip Home

20 July 2005
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“And the man got up and went home.” — Matthew, telling of a man who had quite a day
“Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” – Jesus, giving instructions to a man who had had quite a day
 
“My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” – A promise of Jesus, to those who love him

I walked into my house at 10:00pm last night and my heart filled with an unspeakable warmth and confidence at what happened next.
 
No, there was no friendly greeting awaiting me at the door, nor some surprise party. As a matter of fact, even though my house had 10 people in it, I passed right by or in front of all of them without even a hint of acknowledgment from them.
 
I was coming home from quite a day. I had experienced a great staff meeting, a moving funeral, a great lunch, some powerful reading, a 2-hour-long ministry conversation about the advancement of the Kingdom of God, a fantastic dinner with my family, a trip up to the emergency room where a good friend suddenly went, and a final, incredible ‘spiritual counsel’ conversation with another good friend. Doggone it…I absolutely love my days.
 
But the crowning glory of the day happened as I walked in my garage door. The silence was deafening (so to speak). As I walked through our den towards the hallway, I passed by the doorway to the living room to see my wife with a group of 4 women sitting comfortably on the floor, eyes closed, heads bowed…and I heard the whisper of their voices praying. Like I said, an unspeakable warmth made itself at home in my heart as I passed by.
 
I passed my daughters closed door, avoiding the temptation to open it on my sleeping daughter, knowing that inside was her gorgeous red hair sprawled out all over her pillow, her beautiful, soft cheeks just inviting me to give them a goodnight kiss. Then I passed a son’s room, picturing his Indian-dark skinned arms wrapped around his elephant, his feet sticking out the side of his crib. And finally, another son’s room, who’s door I rarely pass because of how deep he sleeps, my intrusion not being enough to ever wake him up. But I did this time, satisfied that my children are in their rooms safe and secure in rest.
 
I made my way down the hall and down my basement stairs. As I turned the corner into the room, I saw three of my friends sitting together hunched over on the edge of their seats, heads bowed…and one of them was praying. Part of the confidence was that I knew these guys would be here. They meet in my basement each Tuesday, and we engage in the art of living life together. And although I missed the bulk of the meeting, without any awkwardness at all, and without them skipping a beat, I walked in and leaned back with my full weight into a chair, and listened to their incredible prayers…always the climax of our meetings for me.
 
I couldn’t help but remember just over a year ago, finding this house in Amarillo, TX and my wife declaring this would the one we would build our home in. And I remembered going from room to room asking God to fill it with His work and with the Spirit of Christ.
 
Thank you, Father. 

The Minister’s Lot

17 July 2005
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“Brothers, pray for us.” – Paul, Silas, and Timothy, to the church of Christ meeting in 1st Century Thessalonica 
 
“This one morning in the year we reserved to refresh the reader’s memory upon the subject of prayer for ministers.” – Charles Spurgeon, minister of the Word, to the readers of his daily devotional book
 
“When my heart is troubled, my flesh is aching, my spirit is weary, and my soul doubts one of a thousand available doubts, and I am tempted to quit the glorious work of Jesus Christ, I wonder which of the many specific prayers that has been offered up for me is redeemed…and I stay for yet another day. My debt to those pray-ers I will never be able to repay.” – Yours Truly, minister of the word, to those who pray for me.
 
 
I want to make a serious, world-altering, life-giving request of you on behalf of myself and ministry team that God has graciously supplied to us here in Amarillo, Tx.
 
Pray for us.
 
With a full time focus on the Kingdom of Heaven, ours is a unique weight to bear. We do it joyfully, mind you. But it remains looming and large, appearing impossible most of the time. Ours is a message of glory and of doom, and we must speak it without respect for the opinions or reactions of man. There is not a work under the sun that is it’s equal in its importance.
 
Please pray for us.
 
Whereas most people look out over the fields of people and see strangers, or potential clients, or a means to some end, or a problem to deal with, or a prisoner who deserves his punishment, or a hungry person who won’t work for his food, we are blessed and cursed to only see souls. And with that carry a burden of responsibility that never can exempt us from care. The confines and protection of polite apathy towards those who we despise, dislike, disagree with, or are opposed to us are not luxuries that we have access to. We have been called to care. And when we try to justify and act on our rights as independent human beings, momentarily forgetting our calling, deep down we are defying the Spirit of Christ that is at work in us. It leaves us carrying, along with our rebelliously claimed right to a life of our own, a constant sense of heaviness and guilt until we submit, once again, to our call.
 
So pray for us.
 
We must preach the truth, whether we have mastered it in our own lives or not, shaming ourselves publicly in our inadequacy of following what we proclaim. We must lead the way in suffering like our Savior, making us look foolish in the eyes of the world, tempted constantly to settle into and preach a diluted version of materialistic, comfortable, and self-exalting Christianity – and even our flocks affirm us and reward us when we live and preach the compromised message that bows to what they are at ease with, in living or in doctrine. When we live rightly in our calling, we must suffer from those outside the church, inside the church, and even from within ourselves…all three being witnesses of our naked failures to be in ourselves what we proclaim they must…and all three rebelling against us at the suggestion.
 
So please pray for us.
 
But don’t pity us. We who are in ministry for very long have many times faced the Christ’s impossible challenge to live His life, felt the resulting despair and confusion and loathing for it, and have been asked by him, “What? Do you want to leave me, too?” We have answered his half-desperate, half-challenging question with our eyes wide open, “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” And it is because of the awakening of that life that he keeps unfolding and giving to us that we move towards Jesus as he stretches out his hand. It is because of the surety that nothing else matters that we watch his feet and slowly and insecurely follow in his steps.
 
So please, please pray for us…pray two very important things: 1) Ask we be given peace, joy, and righteousness as we dare count the cost of being His ministers of the Word, and 2) Thank him for the peace, joy and righteousness that he is giving us as we dare count the cost of being His ministers of the Word.
 
I love you.

The Secret Spiritual Discipline

14 July 2005
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“Tearless grief bleeds inwardly and destroys.” – Christian Nevell Bovee
 
“Let your tears come when they do.  Let them water your soul.” – Eileen Mayhew

“Time engraves our faces with all the tears we’ve felt but have not shed.” – Natalie Clifford Barney

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are like rain upon the blinding dust of the earth, gently soaking and softening our hardened hearts.” – Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860

“I run across many people who are afraid to let themselves really cry – afraid that it might look weak and pathetic, afraid that they might never be able to stop, sick and tired of the constant feeling of wanting to, and therefore not truly “allowing” themselves to.  But we have the desire to cry for a reason.  God gave us this ability for a reason, and it is a blessing, and it has a sacred purpose, so let the tears flow whenever the urge hits.  Forget all of the invalid programming of your past, about what’s allowed and what’s not, what’s strong and what’s not.  Tears are the necessary lubricant of the heart and the place in which the deepest connection to God and each other is possible.” – Jim Spivey

How long has it been since you’ve cried?
 
I sat with a Senior Student from Pepperdine Tuesday night who, unprompted in the midst of a worship gathering that was really touching her heart, told me, “It has probably been 2 years since I’ve cried.”
 
Why would she say that? So what? It had nothing rational to do with the conversation we were in.
 
I knew what was going on inside of her head for the past two years. Reasonable voices suggesting to her: “Maybe you just haven’t needed to cry. Maybe you just aren’t one of those “criers”. Maybe it’s because your strong enough to find a productive outlet for what bothers you.”
 
We didn’t address crying directly at all, even after she said it. Her statement was in the midst of a mighty conversation about a relationship that has welled up bitterness and anger in her. But in the context of our conversation, this seemingly unrelated statement about her “cry history” made perfect sense to both of us without elaboration.
 
Why is that?
 
I was outside of a beautiful chapel overlooking the ocean, getting ready to speak Monday night to an incredible group of students about the Spirit of God, when a couple of buddies came out to pray over me. I was already convicted personally by what I was about to preach, but their presence helped me admit it to myself. And as they said, “Amen,” and started to leave, I asked them to stay while I prayed. They did.
 
And then my tears came.
 
I’m getting really good at crying. It should be a spiritual discipline.
 
As I write this, and while the reasonable voice in some of your heads keep making the case that exempts you from the need or capacity or personality for tears, let me suggest that maybe there is another voice talking to. Maybe not, but maybe. 
 
Inside of my head there is a more Reasonable Voice saying to me: “Maybe you just needed to cry. Maybe you are a real, raw human being after all. Maybe it’s because you are strong that you can submit to the productive work that is done through the God-given capacity for tears.”
 
For the person who can’t start crying and wants to, my coaching can only come in the two words, “let it go”. It will be hard, spiritual, counter-cultural work for sure.
 
And for the person who can’t seem to keep from crying, welling up in tears from the smallest things, and you want to stop, my coaching can only come in the two words, “let it all go”. 
 
 

The Retreat Chronicles VIII – Creating an Atmosphere

10 July 2005
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“Lord, are you going to wash my feet? No, you shall never wash my feet.” – Peter, willfully fighting against the atmosphere Jesus was trying to create.
 
“Then, Lord, not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” – Peter, laying down his will in submission to the atmosphere Jesus was trying to create.
 
“Are you resisting the forces pulling at you that just might be the Lord, softly but insistently tugging at your mind?” — Jerome Daley in his book Soul Space
 
We started our Friday afternoon very satisfied and thrilled to have a set of words that articulated what a disciple of Jesus is. We thanked God, and then we sent everyone out for some some solo time armed with 4 questions for God, with the expectation that He would speak:
 
1) Where are you?
2) Who am I to you?
2) Why me?
3) What is left unsaid between you and me?
 
We went out because we know that there is an atmosphere that we need that gives us access to the very voice of God and to his Holy Spirit. And we know that God is the master at creating that atmosphere and doesn’t need our help (or interference) in creating it. When we make the time to subject ourselves to the Atmosphere of God, we transform. We were about to embark on what I believed to be the most important discussion of discovery that we would have on this retreat, and I wanted all of us to come right out of this atmosphere that transforms us before we attempted a discussion of this magnitude.
 
I’ve only had 15 years of full-time focus on people, but in those years I have noticed certain tendencies among human beings. I’m no psycho-pro, so I’m admittedly an amateur in my observations, but this is my blog and email list, and it carries no authoritative weight with anyone unless you decide for it to, so here it is. 
 

When a human being finds itself in a certain environment of any kind, the human being has a tendency to react in certain, predictable ways. They still have a choice, mind you, to decide against that tendency. That is the power of the will. The will of a human being can be an unstoppable force for good when used forcefully against an environment that tends to hurt humans. But it can also be a horrible obstacle from good when it is used forcefully against an environment that tends to heal humans.
 
When the atmosphere is hurtful and wrong, the will needs to kick in. When the atmosphere is helpful and good, the will needs to be laid down.
 
It’s not outlined in list form in Scripture, per se, but Jesus seems to create a certain atmosphere that makes a human being react in certain, predictable ways. It all depends on the human being’s will, of course, and whether the will kicks in or is laid down when they experience the “atmosphere of Christ”. So people’s reactions were usually one of two things: transformation or refusal. One thing that the Christ didn’t really allow for was “neutrality”.
 
“So what’s your point?” you might ask. Well, my point is that if the atmosphere that Christ created is what transforms people, than the atmosphere that a church of Christ should produce the same thing. So, it is the job of every church member to be like Christ (a disciple) and when they come together, to be like Christ’s church…or said another way…to create an “Atmosphere of Transformation.”
 
The 3rd objective of our retreat was “to discover and articulate the atmosphere necessary to transform into a disciple of Jesus” (see Retreat Chronicles I). Said another way, we were trying to answer the question, “What is the atmosphere that every human being needs in order to change into someone with the qualities of a disciple (see Retreat Chronicles VI). And said one more way, we wanted the things that you could look anyone in the eye and say with conviction out of your deep love for them, “you really NEED this…even if you don’t think you do…if you want life to the full.”
 
When we returned from our personal “Atmosphere’s of Transformation”, we started into the question…and we were all over the place on this one. It was some serious chaos. Everything was good and right and true, but there was no sense of totality and completeness and comprehensiveness in our sharing. We did this for quite some time, and I was inwardly hoping that the objective would suddenly be found by and through our continued banter. But no such luck….until, that is, we prayed…this time together.
 
I interrupted our chaos with a call to prayer, and right as we bowed felt compelled to ask Doyle to lead it. Doyle is our worship minister, and looking back, the best person in our group to word this prayer for us, because he is constantly and always thinking about and creating ‘atmosphere’ that would, with God’s help, lead to transformation. As He prayed, I felt compelled to pick up my pen and write…several words came out of my pen onto the paper…and they seemed to capture the essence of all that we were saying. Upon Doyle’s ‘Amen’, I put them to the team and with a little revision, we felt like God had delivered.
 
For a human being to be transformed into a follower of Christ, they need these things:
 
To be LOVED by disciples.
To be TAUGHT what a disciple is (and why it is the best).
To be CHALLENGED to become one.
To be MODELED in front of, so they see it in the flesh.
To be ACCOMPANIED on the journey.
To be FREED to become a disciple (from sin, lies, and religion)
To be REMINDED of why we are disciples.
To be CELEBRATED in the becoming of a disciple.
 
When a human being is unconditionally loved by followers of Jesus with no strings attached, they are taught what a disciple of Jesus really is, because it is being modeled in front of them. The life of disciple is so real, so true, and so freeing and abundant that it challenges humans to consider becoming one themselves, and when they do they join into a circle of people who are all on the same journey together, constantly reminding each other why they are on it when it appears to be hard, and the life of celebration that they live together because of the great freedom they continue to find and experience is incredible.
 
In this environment, human beings tend to react in a certain, predictable sort of way…the transform into disciples of Jesus.
 
It is the primary job of the church to create this environment for all nations of human beings. This is what I intend on doing for the rest of my life. Creating it for myself, creating for my wife, for my children, for my church family, for my neighbors, for my city, for my enemies, for the world. And this is what we in leadership intend on doing together.
 
May God make it so.

Freedom is Obvious

6 July 2005
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“It is for freedom that Christ has set you free.” – Paul
 
“If the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – The Son
 
“Our hearts inherently know what freedom feels like. To give something less than freedom to people, and then trying to call it freedom, can only be done by usurping the heart and making the case only in the head. Any genuine, authentic, honest, integrity-filled human being will not, and can not, buy that.” – Yours Truly
 
It was late at night. I was finishing up a project in college that was due the next day. I was the last one in the communication building, and the school I went to had a curfew, and I was closing in on both finishing my project and finishing my day.
 
Time was up, and I headed for the back exit. To get there, I had to go through a little cubicle that had three doors: one that lead to the lobby (where I was), one that led to the Campus Radio Station’s back door exit (where I wanted to go), and one that led to the Speech Pathology department. I opened the first door, went in, was careful to lock it behind me since I was the last person there, shut it, only to find that the door leading to the Radio Station’s exit was locked. So was the speech path door. I proceeded to pronounce a small curse on the engineer who was genius enough to design such a system as I came to the realization that I was trapped.
 
Trapped. Imprisoned. Bound. Jailed. Pent up. Closed in. Squeezed. It was not a good feeling. In fact it was horrible. Keeping my peace in the midst of such a loss of choice was beyond difficult.
 
After vain attempts at unlocking any of the doors with every one of my keys, busting up my fists and elbows on the skinny, tall windows in the doors, and yelling my throat raw as the campus security guards passed by the building outside…If finally figured out a way up through the ceiling by climbing the doorknobs and over the doorframe. It was quite the personal drama.
 
And let me tell you…there is a huge, undeniable, obvious difference between the feeling of FREEDOM and the feeling of BONDAGE. No one has to explain it to you. It’s clear as air.
 
But spiritually, it seems, everyone is explaining it. Including me. It’s crazy when you think about it…having to explain freedom.
 
Can you imagine if I started calling out to everyone from that little cubicle of doors I was locked inside of, announcing and pleading and convincing people of the truth that “Freedom is in here!” Can you imagine the doors being unlocked, the doors swung wide open, being invited out to do whatever it is I could find to do out of there, but answering back, “No way! Freedom is in here. I’m NOT leaving.”
 
I’m so sad that that is exactly what I learned growing up, and exactly what I taught for years. I would find it especially easy to look at other people in their little cubicles and argue with them about how they are not free in theirs, but if they would just come into mine, they would be free. It was easier to feel like I was “sharing truth” with them, because they would listen and argue. All the people outside of the cubicles just looked at me like I was crazy. But I would comfort myself with, “The road is narrow and only a few will take it.”
 
Dude, the road is narrow enough when I actually offer the true freedom of Christ. He doesn’t need me to add a bunch of rules that I have contrived out of the Bible and make the road even narrower.
 
A spoke on the freedom we have in Christ last Sunday to this band of brothers and sisters in Christ in Amarillo that I am becoming family with, but I was still being preached to by the Spirit of God on the subject all afternoon, and into our nations Independence Day on Monday. I was reflecting on my life I’ve lived, on the real and genuine need of my heart, on the freedom I want my wife and children to have when I had to stop and thank God for something…
 
I have grown incapable of accepting anything that feels contrived.
 
I know what freedom feels like. And I know what bondage feels like. I’m not going offer people bondage anymore and call it freedom. I’m going to offer freedom and call it life.
 
Father, may it be on earth as it is in Heaven.
 
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