(I unintentionally sent this one out before I had finished it a little over a week ago…here is the final product. Sorry about that!)
“This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object.” – The Joker, in the movie The Dark Knight
One of the things I really enjoyed about this trip was being with my son Shade 24-7. We did everything together (I mean everything…eat, sleep, hike, move, rest, poop, pee, drive, explore, collapse…everything) every single day. We got tired of each other, served each other, joked with each other, listened to each other, got sick, frustrated, and angry with each other, and survived each other.
So that was cool, but also cool for me was experiencing some of the unique qualities that are Shade so clearly and constantly.
Shade has energy. Even when he is tired and worn out, he can’t seem to not exhibit energy.
When we would take breaks that involved taking our packs off, Shade would be running down to the water, exploring an old miners cabin, or throwing rocks.
When we would be hiking in his toughest moments, his complaints and ailings would be expressed with profound energy.
When we were at camp, he was non-stop energy.
When he wanted to talk about Pokémon Cards with his buddy Zach, he was overwhelming energy.
When we were going to sleep, he always had the last word…and yes, you guessed it, it was said with energy – even if his audience was asleep!
I shared in Mountain Chronicles II how tough the long hike up the mountain was for Shade, but whenever he didn’t have a pack on, he was desiring non-stop action.
Nowhere was this better expressed than on Day 2. Day 1 ended with us hiking about 4.5 miles, finding an adequate temporary campsite for the night, setting up our tent in a threatening sprinkle but before the hard rain, eating our first hot meal (mac and cheese), and settling into our sleeping bags. We were on a respectable incline, and slid towards our feet constantly, and I slept horribly, with a lingering headache irritating me all night (this has always happened to me my first day in high altitude, only to disappear with my giving in to nausea (which happened the next morning) and then I’m fine the rest of the trip). It was a less than ideal night, but boy was it good to not be walking.
On day 2, we had our precious daily hot chocolate, ate some breakfast, packed up, and kept hiking. We went another mile and half or so and found a beautiful spot to set up our base camp. After we set up, we decided to pack our day packs and go exploring up into the basin…maybe hit an old gold mine or two. This, of course, pumped Shade up. We started hiking, and Zach started getting a headache…but courageously decided to keep going. We were probably about 3/4 mile up from our camp when the clouds came swooping in and it started pouring a drenching rain. We got our raingear on in the nick of time, and spotted an old abandoned campsite thick with trees up ahead. As we headed there, the heavens seem to turn the water up a bit more, and then opened the ice-box as it turned to hail! I’m smiling as we rush under the trees with nothing to do but get drenched and wait it out. I wasn’t smiling for Zach though, who squats down under one of the thick pines and huddles up in his raingear…I felt horrible for him sitting there quite miserable. Keith was smiling too with what I interpreted as that “What did we get ourselves into” look…a look echoing his statement when we crossed the bridge on day 1. All things considered, I felt like we were in a pretty good place to wait out the storm.
But Shade…Shade was wondering why we were stopped! “Let’s go!” he kept saying. I was the “immovable object” here, totally resolute in my decision to stay right here until it let up. And Shade was the “unstoppable force,” trying in dozens and dozens of ways to try to change my decision.
One time, it was, “Okay, lets go,” in an assuming tone that was pretending this was just a short breather/break that had nothing to do with the weather.
Another time, it was, “Look…it’s letting up!” Which wasn’t true, but maybe I’d fall for it.
Yet again, he switched to the logical approach: “Dad, let’s get to the cave. It will protect us way better than these trees!” (A really good point, actually)
Several times they were of the “Are we gonna just stand here all day?” family: “We’re losing daylight, dad.” “Okay, fine. We’ll wait. How many more minutes?” “Did we come all the way up here just to stand under these trees?”
I’m cracking up out loud on the plane just replaying them in my mind. Shade is an unstoppable force of energy!
But I’m not budging. Everything…EVERYTHING…except Shade’s energy…says stay right where you are until it lets up. So…I’m pulling out all my different flavors of trying to get him to realize the parameters of what is not going to change.
I used the detailed explanation approach: “Shade, it’s raining and hailing. We are going to stay here until it stops.”
I used the “did-you-hear-me?” approach: “Shade, do you remember when I said we will move? When it stops.“
The “make-your-kid-say-it-back-to-you” approach: “Shade, when did I say we will go?” “When the hail stops,” he said, “So when does that mean we’ll move?” “When the hail stops,” he confirmed.
The “point-out-his-persistence-as-futile” approach: “Shade, what did I say last time you asked to go?” “No,” he said. “So in 30 seconds, when you ask again, what am I gonna say?” “No,” he said. “So do you need to ask again?” “No,” he conceded.
But of course, he would anyway. I can’t even remember all the different ways he and I went back and forth. It reminds me of a wild horse that just will not to be broken, and the cowboys trying every horse-breaking strategy known to man, and then just looking bewildered and in awe at the beautiful animal in the pen, refusing to agree with them that he belongs there behind a fence with a saddle and bridle.
My favorite expression of his energy, and his creativity, had a touché’ sort of flair to it when he said, “Dad…what are we supposed to do when it gets hard?” (You’ll have to back up and read Mountain Chronicles II to appreciate the genius of that one).
But I wasn’t budging…I thought. Alas, just like the strong rock eventually gives way to and is shaped by the relentless, non-stop dripping of (seemingly) weaker water, I suddenly found myself making a case for why it actually might be good to keep going.
Everything…EVERYTHING…except Shade’s energy said stay right there until it lets up. But something about Shade’s energy is compelling. I do it sometimes, but I don’t think I was just “giving in” to his persistence here, as if tired of being “immovable”. I think it was 1/3rd my desire to give him what he wants, 1/3rd agreement with him that mere weather shouldn’t stop us from pressing on, and 1/3rd my utter respect for his “unbreakableness” (I always root for the horse in those movies that depict the battle between it’s wild spirit and then men trying to break ’em…wishing I could open the corral gate and let it free before it’s too late). I know the math doesn’t add up, but there might have been another 1/3 of me wishing it was me saying “let’s keep going!”
The water was coming down so thick and fast, that the ground above us couldn’t saturate it fast enough, so we watched as the water started inching its way on top of the ground, infringing on our feet. This was the straw that I was waiting for to break the camels back, so I looked at Keith and said we were gonna keep going…knowing that he needed to stay there with brave Zach who was in pain.
So…to the question of “what happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?” I don’t know, really, but when the unstoppable force is Shade’s energy, and the immoveable object in my will, I know for sure what happens. We find out the immovable object isn’t really immovable!
Long story short, we started cutting through some meadows that were drenched with water, saw a quickly rising river ahead that we were going to have to ford, and all of this with no signs of the hail letting up. After giving it a go, Shade yelled through the hammering of hail, “Okay, dad…let’s go back.”
It was a wise choice…and probably the wisest choice would’ve been to not waste the energy trying what we were trying in the first place. But for some reason, I didn’t feel any kind of “I told you so.” On the contrary, I found myself exhilarated and energized because we tried.
And for that, I’m so thankful for Shade’s energy. Because I wouldn’t have had the exhilaration and energy if he wasn’t there as the lone voice saying let’s go…when everything, EVERYTHING else said to stay put.
So that was cool…experiencing so clearly and constantly some of the unique qualities that are Shade.
Can’t wait to do something like this with Callie and Jakin, too.
