{"id":79,"date":"2006-11-22T01:29:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-22T01:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianmashburn.net\/?p=79"},"modified":"2006-11-22T01:29:00","modified_gmt":"2006-11-22T01:29:00","slug":"secret-life-feedback-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/?p=79","title":{"rendered":"&quot;Secret Life&quot; Feedback #3"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial>Just got some challenging  and insightful feedback this morning&#8230;and will sift through it over  thanksgiving&#8230;but here one of 2 more feedback emails that I have already  assembled from last week <\/font><\/span><span class=031012605-18112006><font  face=Arial>from my email\/blog entitled &#8220;My Secret Life of Discipleship&#8221;. And  just to exhibit&nbsp;someone else&#8217;s&nbsp;need to &#8220;find&nbsp;other&#8217;s&#8221; who are  feeling this way, I&#8217;ll start with this one&#8230;<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/span><\/font><\/span>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA\"><font  size=3>&#8220;It is very nice (and yet scary) to know there is someone out there who  is thinking like me. And I am glad you could make sense of my email. I re-read  it this morning and wondered if it would be possible. Thank you for being there  as well. You are in my prayers, brother.&#8221; &#8211;&nbsp;a sister who feels like I do  about all this feedback<\/font>&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA\"><\/span><\/span><\/font><\/span>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA\">&#8220;I  feel like this paragraph describes me completely. I am on both sides of every  issue. I sit down with the desire to find rich truths differently than before,  but I always revert back to my old ways. What I believed was truth, I am no  longer sure is truth. I love the church I grew up in, but I don&#8217;t want to be  that church anymore. At this point, I am not sure I have any non-negotiables in  terms of worship at this point (if I can even define what worship is anymore). I  fear&#8230;express[ing] myself openly and yet at the same time, I want things to  change drastically. I wonder how long I can live in this &#8220;co-existence&#8221; within  myself and since I am so conflicted, forget about talking about myself. I feel  somewhat stupid because there is a part of me that really believes after growing  up in a <st1:PlaceType w:st=\"on\">church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName> home, at a <st1:PlaceType  w:st=\"on\">church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName> school (4-12th grade), going to a <st1:place  w:st=\"on\"><st1:PlaceType w:st=\"on\">church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName><\/st1:place> University, participating in  numerous mission trips and being a baptized follower for 15 years I should not  be this conflicted. There is&nbsp;part of me that desperately wants to delete  your emails everytime I see them because I know they are going to push me  further than I want to go (I have seriously closed your emails numerous times  before actually reading them all the way through. And I have found myself  checking the blog sight to read and re-read everything you say). So many Sundays  and Wednesdays, I would prefer to completely check out of your sermons and  ignore everything you and Doyle are saying and doing. I have no desire at all  the leave Southwest, just a desire to be untouched and left alone. And yet, I  can&#8217;t. I can&#8217;t because I see how different thing can be and should be and will  be. I want to be a part of that. I want to jump off the cliff with all the  confidence and faith in the world and see what happens. I want to know that I am  serving the King as a response to his grace and not out of duty or guilt. I want  to know Him more.&#8221; &#8211; a 30ish sister&nbsp;life-long member of the <st1:place  w:st=\"on\"><st1:PlaceType w:st=\"on\">Church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName><\/st1:place><\/span><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/span><\/font><\/span>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">&#8220;My spiritual growth is nobody  else&#8217;s responsibility but mine. Having said that &#8211;&nbsp;where&nbsp;my leaders  and teachers have failed me&nbsp;is in&nbsp;not&nbsp;teaching me HOW to take  personal responsibility. They have failed me by refusing to disciple me (even  when I&#8217;ve&nbsp;asked for it).&nbsp;To my leaders and teachers&nbsp;great  shame,&nbsp;the &#8220;how-to&#8217;s&#8221; of spiritual growth&nbsp;is something I&#8217;ve had to  discover&nbsp;on my own. Just like how to witness effectively to the lost or how  to live in community with other believers&#8230;.and many other basic tenants of  biblical Christianity.&nbsp;Without malice or anger I say that I&#8217;ve not been  equipped by teachers or leaders&nbsp;within the institution to do much more  that&nbsp;sit on a&nbsp;pew. Fortunately God is breaking through the  intellectual fortress that is most&nbsp;Churches of Christ&nbsp;and He&#8217;s  finding&nbsp;obedient&nbsp;servants who are willing to step out in faith and be  led by His Spirit rather than their own intellect.&nbsp;He&#8217;s finding surrendered  hearts who are truly seeking Him and truly desiring to live life to the full&#8230;&#8221;  &#8211; 36ish father, married into the <st1:place w:st=\"on\"><st1:PlaceType  w:st=\"on\">Church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName><\/st1:place>, converted&nbsp;from a deucedly  worldly and evil lifestyle<\/span><\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/span><\/font><\/span>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/span><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">&#8220;Because I have been out of the  movement of churches of Christ for a few years and in our cousin branch of the  Christian Churches I have a keener&#8230;more keen?&#8230;appreciation of my heritage  and teachings on repentance and baptism as there is more of a vacuum on the  topic over here. I agree there have been some imbalances over the years&#8230;partly  because a majority of churches don&#8217;t teach it as the bible does and we&#8217;ve  reacted to that and headed to the other end of the scale &#8211; thus an imbalance.&#8221;  -40ish old college buddy, life-long member of <st1:place  w:st=\"on\"><st1:PlaceType w:st=\"on\">Church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName><\/st1:place> except (obviously) for the last few  years<\/span><\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><o:p><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/font><\/span>&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><span class=031012605-18112006><font face=Arial size=2><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><o:p><span  style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">&#8220;I was one of those kids that  questioned why we didn&#8217;t use instruments and asked very learned men, and after  listening to their historical explanations, came away unconvinced, empty and  unsure why in the world it was such a fellowship breaking deal!&#8221; &#8211; 40ish sister  and life long member of the <st1:place w:st=\"on\"><st1:PlaceType  w:st=\"on\">Church<\/st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName  w:st=\"on\">Christ<\/st1:PlaceName><\/st1:place><o:p><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/o:p><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just got some challenging and insightful feedback this morning&#8230;and will sift through it over thanksgiving&#8230;but here one of 2 more feedback emails that I have already assembled from last week from my email\/blog entitled &#8220;My Secret Life of Discipleship&#8221;. And just to exhibit&nbsp;someone else&#8217;s&nbsp;need to &#8220;find&nbsp;other&#8217;s&#8221; who are feeling this way, I&#8217;ll start with this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pO6nf-1h","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}