{"id":441,"date":"2014-05-29T17:09:53","date_gmt":"2014-05-29T17:09:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/?p=441"},"modified":"2014-05-29T17:14:54","modified_gmt":"2014-05-29T17:14:54","slug":"taking-my-10th-sabbatical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/?p=441","title":{"rendered":"“Taking” My 10th Sabbatical"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou dare not give up the stability of your life that is \u2018hid with Christ in God\u2019 for anything \u2013 no matter how great and worthy the purpose \u2013 for it would be the death of you.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 a still, small voice inside of me <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201dFor you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Colossians 3:3<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m smack dab in the middle of a 3-week \u201csabbatical,\u201d or break, from my normal duties, my tenth since being with the Southwest church family<\/a> in Amarillo, TX.<\/p>\n

When I was leaving the West Houston church family<\/a> after 14 years of loving a city through a student ministry to love another city through a church ministry, the team that had been discerning with me about this most unlikely move sent me \u201can offer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Included in it was an annual 3-week long \u201csabbatical.\u201d This was on top of vacation.<\/p>\n

I received it as an awesome gesture of the leadership\u2019s heart, but had no intentions of ever planning on \u201ctaking it.\u201d It seemed luxurious, extravagant, unfair, unproductive, inefficient, burdensome on others, and wrong. But I was surrounded by voices that spoke positively and encouraging about it, and by a leadership that without my permission planned it into my calendar.<\/p>\n

There I was, in 2005, with three full weeks of not being able to hide my lack of connection to God with the excuse, \u201cI don\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wish the dilemma on everyone.<\/p>\n

Ten years and many such experiences later, these 3-weeks now seem necessary, death-defying, communally beneficial, ministry quality improving, equipping of others, and right.<\/p>\n

What I wouldn\u2019t have done if it was left up to me ten years ago, I wouldn\u2019t do without if it is left up to me now.<\/p>\n

It is interesting watching the reactions of those around me who hear of this annual blessing that must be simultaneously \u201cgiven\u201d and \u201creceived\u201d to be had.<\/p>\n

It triggers satisfaction in some, ranging from declarations like \u201cThat is beautiful,\u201d to \u201cThat is so good.\u201d On the extreme, it has triggered tears of gratitude and disbelief, tapping into some deep wounding that has come from the burnout that they or someone they love had experienced.<\/p>\n

In others it triggers bitterness, ranging from comments like \u201cMust be nice,\u201d to silent head turns of envy. On the extreme, it has triggered anger towards me, with overt invitations to give it up so as to not make those who do not have such a blessing not feel slighted.<\/p>\n

I used to receive the former folks eagerly as affirmation that I\u2019m doing the right thing \u201ctaking it\u201d\u00a0 each year. And I used to take the latter defensively, either making plans in my head to \u201cnot take it\u201d to prove my sensitivity to others, or making lists in my head defending why I should or had the right to.<\/p>\n

I say I \u201cused to\u201d do those things, but I still do both, just not with quite the intensity that I used to (perhaps this post is actually me doing it once again unwittingly. God knows, I must let it go).<\/p>\n

But I am learning that any attempt to live the life of Christ always be in holy rebellion against, and in stark contrast to, thousands of societal rules, even among Christians, so that when something like an annual sabbatical, even when offered, will always get the occasional response of \u201chow dare you take that.\u201d<\/p>\n

But at this point in my life, I dare not give it up. Without often withdrawing to solitary places to pray, to be still and know that God is God, to learn that His Kingdom runs and advances without me running and without me intentionally advancing it, and that He loves me, not because of my work, but simply because He is love, I would not last a minute. I must be conquered by God\u2019s love, not by God\u2019s work, in a world that values, rewards, respects, and justifies those who die busy.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve already died that death. Busyness killed me once. That was quite enough.<\/p>\n

Now my life is hidden with Christ in God.<\/p>\n

If the peaceful, joyful, righteous, relational life He promises is merely an idea that I speak of in the midst of a frantic, stressful, fast-paced life of busyness, I\u2019m offering the world nothing of value at best, a false gospel at worst.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou dare not give up the stability of your life that is \u2018hid with Christ in God\u2019 for anything \u2013 no matter how great and worthy the purpose \u2013 for it would be the death of you.\u201d \u2013 a still, small voice inside of me \u201dFor you died, and your life is now hidden with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,10,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christ-vs-church","category-prayer","category-the-best-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pO6nf-77","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":443,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions\/443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianmashburn.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}